Let me be with you for a while

Autumn night as cold as water. Along the winding path of a mountain, Tang’s long fingers held the wheel steadily in the midnight. But it was not the first time I saw him. I met him at the door of a house located at the end of a narrow alley lined with bamboo where his destination was after a long drive from Taipei.

My green glaring eyes stared up at him and he turned his head to me while he opened the door. With a blank face, he picked me up, held me with his left hand and took me into the house. He put me down on the floor and I didn’t meow or tried to flee but watched him turn on kitchen’s light, open the refrigerator and pour me a bowl of milk.

Tang looked tired and sad and seemed not notice the woman who was in blue flower dress stood next to the dining room’s window. I stopped drinking milk and contemplated how this stranger suddenly appeared, but she only focused on Tang’s every gesture.

Then the phone in the dining room rang and he answered it:

“Yes, I’ve arrived and…, yes, I’m fine. Don’t need to worry about me… No, I’ll only stay here for two weeks and then I will go back to work on producing the record… Of course I know how important it is to our firm… No, no, don’t come, really… I will be fine… really, just give me two weeks, I will let her go… forever… I promise. I won’t do anything stupid… OK, I will call you every day… Sure, sure. Don’t you worry; Mrs. Li will cook for me… Yes, call you tomorrow when I wake up… bye.”

Tang hung up the phone but his head was down still and then one tear dropped onto his right hand which still held the phone. I walked toward him and jumped up onto his lap. He hugged me tight suddenly and cried depressedly with his head pressed upon my back in the dark.

The stranger’s eyes welled with tears also but she neither walked nor said a word. I wondered if she could talk or not. She seemed paler surrounded by moon light, almost transparent. Then her eyes set upon me and begged me silently for a favor.

Sure, for the sake of that he fed me the milk, I will be with him for a while, during the time he is here, I guess.

 

Suicide

The dark fell upon him as heavy as his heart, even though the lights shimmered across the river. Carefully, he laid down his shoes, last will, and a bag with a PDA, money, and ID card in it, on the bank. Saying farewell silently to his family and friends, he walked into the river slowly.

The water rose with his every step, nothing could save him. He fought against the current while the water came to his waist. His longing for death became stronger and more determined. In just a few minutes, I’m going to another world, he thought, and there will be no misery and frustration any more.

The water was at his chest now and his clothes were soaked. The stink of polluted river filled his nostrils and he kind of regretted for picking a place like this to end his life. But he didn’t have many options for that either when he was overwhelmed by his depression. An invisible power urged him to write his will fast and take a taxi to the nearest spot near the river. Only the last step left.

Garbage drifted around his cheek and a plastic bag half-torn with only god knew what was in it floated directly toward his mouth, but he turned his head a little to let it pass. He shut his mouth tightly and tried not to breath. The water almost covered his eyes. Breath and it will all be over soon, he thought again, but his body refused to obey.

The air will be used up anyway, I can wait till then. He relaxed his body and followed the weak current, his feet lifted from the ground. I should’ve put some stones in my pockets. While he forced himself to breath, his mouth opened. He swallowed water once or twice and the taste was disgusting. Before his nostrils opened, his reaction to the lack of oxygen kicked in: he kicked hard to keep his head above the surface and inhaled deeply.

The river is too dirty to die in. And he swung back to where he entered. After half-crawling, half-walking to the bank, he found his belongings had disappeared. He lied face down on the mud with a blank mind.

That’s great, I have to report my loss and explain how it happened to police now, not to mention how to face my family.